When the sun shines

I feel like in general we, as a race of human beings, are much happier and nicer when the sun is shining. When you can sit outside and let those sweet, sweet sun rays warm you to the core. I love that when the sun shines, people shine too (as corny as that sounds). But for instance I went supermarket shopping on Friday when there was a torrential downpour and there wasn't a single smiling face around, everyone just looked miserable and very wet, myself included. But today, when the sun is shining, I went into Target and I was greeted with smiles and hello's. I love that interaction that we can have with other human beings, people that we don't even know. We can smile at someone or have someone smile at you and it lifts your day. Well for me it does anyway, smiling or simply saying hello is a way that I think everybody can use to simply show kindness and positivity. It always nicer when a person smiles at you rather than when they look you up and down with a sour expression on their face. This is something I have to work at, at times. I have a mild case of what is more commonly known as 'resting bitch face'. I don't have it as severe as some people, take my sister for instance. But I do have it. If you don't know what it is, it's where you have a bitchy expression on your face without realizing or intentionally putting it there. It's just the expression that your relaxed face goes to. So instead of have 'resting bitch face' I have to think about it and just smile at people. 

Ripped jeans, pool, and sunshine also make me happy

Just a little bit of hammock, pool, and sunshine to brighten anyones day

A little taste of NYC

On the 29th of May, my sister (Kate) and I will be going to New York for a four night stay. To say i'm a tad excited is a huge understatement. But with my excitement I also have this weird anxiety over the fact that we might not get to see everything. Which of course we won't! New York is huge and there are so many things to see and do that it would be impossible to see everything in just four short days. However just to put my mind at ease I truly tuned into my over organized side and made a schedule. Well now it's not a schedule that we have to strictly stick to, even though it might seem that way. But my mind needs to see organization and a clear plan and structure, otherwise I forget things or feel anxious and can't relax and have a good time (it's why I love lists). I just needed to be able to see what we are going to be doing on each day and then making sure that things that needed to be booked in advance, can be booked and payed for at a time that works with whatever else we are doing. Obviously things are mostly flexible and we will just take it one day at a time and enjoy ourselves. But for my peace of mind it was important to me to have some plan. 

We are visiting many of the iconic touristy places of course, but we also want to explore some of the more local places, alongs with the boutique restaurants and shops. I'm super excited not only to see my sister and spend this time with her, but to have a vacation. I know i've only been here three months, but I could very well go insane soon :P 

An unexpected Adventure

I guess when you hear someone say they are taking a gap year and moving to another country, you automatically think they are going on one great big adventure. Which it is - in a way - but not the kind of adventure people think you are taking. Well this is for me personally. People often ask why are don't post more pictures on instagram? Well 1) I've never been a big poster in the past and 2) I'm not doing greatly exciting things every single day. I mean sure if you want to see me doing washing, running errands, cooking dinner, at baseball practice or even walking the dog; then sure I can post more pictures. I think that people think that every single day I'm off exploring, or going to famous icons and landmarks, and meeting loads of interesting people. The fact is i'm not, and yes I should be doing more of that (which is going to happen soon). But for now I'm working and trying to work hard. 

I think that I personally thought that yes I would have a lot more free time to do things. But I always feel constricted by the hours that I do have free from the kids and what I have to get done in that time. I'm still trying to find balances and figure out expectations of me and figuring out when is the right times for me to go and when to stay. I think that in the situation i'm in, working for and living with the family, you have to work hard to make sure that things don't turn sour. It's hard living with any new family where their family is very different from your own let alone working for them too. It's about remaining positive and open minded and understanding that you are there to make their lives easier not harder. A couple of the other Aupairs that I have met don't seem to understand this, especially some of the girls who are a lot older them me like the 22-25 year olds. One, there is usually a language barrier, and two, they are used to having so much freedom at home. It's also not that they don't have freedom, but they have a new responsibility in the home they are in and that's challenging. This one girl often just leaves for days at a time when her host family need her to be there and look after the children and she just doesn't understand what is wrong with that. But for me I like to work hard in my job, that's just how I was raised, and if it means that I have to go above and beyond then so be it. It defiantly pays off in the long run.

Green Smoothies

Now i’m sure that everyone has heard of the green smoothie and juice craze that has swept the nation. The adding of a mixture of fruits and vegetables with leafy greens, chia seeds, nuts, coconut water, protein powder. You name it, people will blend it. Now I love a good banana smoothie, have for years. I personally think that my banana smoothie is the best others will probably beg to differ. I add 1 banana, 1 cup of soy or almond milk, 3 tablespoons of greek yoghurt or whatever yoghurt you have, handful of frozen berries, 1/2 teaspoons of honey and sometimes a pinch of cinnamon. Seriously it’s the best thing ever and I could drink it all day. However recently I have been trying to have no dairy products and I wanted to try making my own green smoothie and let me tell you, you can’t even tell that there is spinach or kale or whatever you choose to use in the drink. Mine have consisted of: 1 banana, 1 cup of coconut water (add more or less if you want a thicker or thinner consistency), 1 teaspoons of chia seeds, frozen or unfrozen berries, and a good handful of some form of leafy greens. I have been drinking this every morning and I feel great, it keeps me full for a long time, I feel healthy on the inside and it gives me a great amount of energy. I think of going to try mixing things up and adding more veggies like carrots and cucumbers. But seriously even though green smoothies look disgusting that actually taste pretty good.

Green Smoothie

My other favorite new drink is water melon juice. I just take half or a quarter of a baby watermelon, pop it in my nutribullet and blend for a solid minute, that’s it! So simple and so yummy. You can strain it if you want it to be for like water. But even with the added bits it’s delicious, and hey extra fibre!

Watermelon Juice

Seeing the positives

So currently my days consist of what I can imagine it is to be a mum. I clean the kids rooms, do laundry, tidy the house, go to the grocery store, run errands, pick up the kids from school, make dinner, feed them dinner, run them to there million different sporting activities, entertain them, give the little one a bath, tuck him into bed and ensure that the older kids have done their homework and are behaving. For me it can be fun at times but also challenging. You know what it's like when you have a substitute teacher for the day at school, so everyone miss behaves? Well that's what I feel like, the substitute parent that they think they can misbehave around. I do really like these kids and I think that each of them is great in their own ways. They all have very unique and different personalities and skills that they possess. With each of them I have a different sort of relationship and they all make me laugh on a daily basis. I try to make things fun so that they aren't constantly bored and hating me for it. But just sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out and those negative things always seem to overshadow the positive. I think it's human nature for us to look at things this way. Whenever I talk to someone outside of the family I always automatically tell them the negatives of my day or week, rather than the positive. Now I am known for being extra negative, but I really want to work on this. So my goal for this week is to start seeing the positive in my day and in these kids. I mean when there are three boys in the house you can't expect everything to go smoothly all the time. So here a few goods things that have happened this week:

On Sunday Morgan (14) and I sat down for three hours and talked about movie making and he showed me a lot about color correction and special effects. It was a time for him to just talk about what he knows and loves, and to have someone who was genuinely interested in what he was saying and doing. For me it was a really cool time to not only learn from him, but also to give him that attention and time. He said that talking through things and showing someone him work is exciting and helps him to better himself and improve him work.

On Tuesday I took Ethan (11) to the batting cages so that he could practice for baseball. Ethan loves sports and he loves when people pay attention to his sports and show a genuine interest in what he is doing. I got to sit and watch him do his thing and he is very good and works hard to achieve his sporting goals. He even let me hit a few balls which was a tone of fun. I love that the two of us could just have some time where I could give him my undivided attention, and it was fun for both of us. 

Ethan's actual baseball game

Also on Tuesday I was hanging out with Preston (6) in the car while we were waiting for the two older boys to finish track practice. There are so many things that everyday warm my heart when it comes to Preston. He is just so cute. However he was playing a game of my phone when he said to me "Sarah?" To which I faithfully replied, "yes Preston?" "Can we take a selfie?" I was like "of course!" So Preston and I took a few too many selfies. He is so much fun to be around and he is just always coming out with the cutest things to say, which aren't always polite, but I always have an internal laugh.

Taught him to peace n pout, Whoops ;)

I love these kids and I'm going to try to see and talk about the positives first and foremost, in everything that I do.

Update

So as of this moment I have been in the US of A for 2 months, 2 week, and 5 days! Lets just say its been fun, emotional, boring, challenging, exciting, and a whole array of other things. I've learnt a lot about myself which has surprised me, i've learnt a lot about Americans, and i've learnt a lot about what it's going to take for me to be able to last a year here. 

For me coming here I certainly knew that I was here to work, I just don't think I really knew how much I was here to work. I at first was shocked at how much I was asked to do on a daily basis that was outside the set guidelines of the program that I'm with; but now i've learnt that in all honesty I really don't mind doing more and it keeps me busy, I do like to work hard for my money, so doing more makes me feel like I've really earn't it. I also thought coming here that it would be one great big adventure - which it is - but i was thinking more along the lines of traveling. I went to New York at the start of March for the weekend and i've been to Philadelphia a few times, but beside that I haven't felt like i've done anything. I mean i'm not the most spontaneous person and i'm not a big adventure seeker in the way that I could go stay at a backpackers and hang out with people I don't know. I'm just not that sort of person. But I wish that I could just stop over thinking what could happen and just go out there and find ways of meeting new people and have some fun!

One thing I'm super duper excited about it that my sister is coming in five weeks!!!! i'm so flipping excited about this and we are going to go to New York and be great little tourists and I just can't wait.

Career?!

The future, what does it hold? The question that every person is asked repeatedly throughout their childhood "what do you want to be when you grow up?" to which the answer at a young age for me was a coffee shop owner. I was obsessed with the idea honestly, even today the thought often crosses my mind of spending my days making wonderful coffee and serving exquisite food to happy and satisfied customers. I would love to be able to create a place of my own like that, but competition is high and you have to be good, really good to gain a great group of loyal customers. As I got a bit older say 13/14 when people asked me that 'wonderful' question, I would reply with lawyer, that's exactly what I wanted to do. I had everything planned out in my head of exactly how my life was going to go with my plans of being a lawyer at the forefront of my mind. Then at the age of 17 I realized that even as strong as I felt about justice and how important that was to me, being a lawyer just wasn't something I was passionate enough about to dedicate my life to it. I felt that I would end up very bored and regretting my decision and to study law is a long and time consuming process; so that plan went out the door and I was left with nothing. I had no clue what I wanted to do, and i've never had that epiphany moment of thinking of this magical career that I so desperately wanted to follow. No I just think of about 100 things a day that I could be. 

Now that word, be, why does our career have to define what or who we are. Society puts a label on each individual according to what career path you have chosen to or not take. If you're a stay at home mum your labelled as that, sometimes in a positive way, sometimes in a negative. If your a doctor or a lawyer, your labelled as someone who is intelligent and hard working. If you are a tradesman or a hairdresser you are portrayed as someone who couldn't be bothered getting a university degree. For every position there is a stereotype that follows that career path. For me I get annoyed and frustrated at this, why is someone who has decided to be a hairdresser or make-up artist any less intelligent than a doctor or a businessman, maybe that was just a path that they personally choose to go down because that is what they are passionate about. I know that not everyone sees individuals this way, but this world labels us and categorizes us by what we choose to 'be'. 

I guess with my little rant what i'm really trying to say is why does our career have to define has, why does that have to make us who we are. Why can't each individual be seen for who they are and not what they are. For me tight now I'm at the confusing stage, one that I know many people have experienced. The feeling of the unknown. Not knowing what the future holds, not knowing where to go from here. I'm just trying to understand what is the best fit for me and trying to figure out if the career I pick is something I can see myself in for a long time. The dilemma I have though is that I always feel like whenever i think of a career i always think of the stereotypes that go along with it and it can make things a lot more difficult than they have to be. 

I guess I just have to truly follow my heart and my head on this one (as corny as that sounds). Because I am not defined by my career and i'm not defined by what people say about my career. I'm defined by who I am as a person, how I treat other people and how I act in general as a member of society. How I judge or choose to not judge other people and how I love others.